Bethannie's story
Bethannie, now in her twenties, was referred to Honeypot through her local young carers group when she was nine years old. She grew up with her mum and sister, who both struggled with various health conditions. She has been a Honeypot ambassador for several years, talking about her experience as a young carer at fundraising events, and also took part in a Radio 4 Appeal for us in 2018.
“My first memory of Honeypot was definitely the friends because I usually struggled. I wasn’t necessarily a shy kid, but when I got to meet new people outside of school, it was quite a struggle. I also liked going to theme parks and stuff like that because we didn’t really get that option when I was growing up." Bethannie
Bethannie was looking after her little sister who was born with cerebral palsy and had limited speech and mobility. Her sister was also born blind and deaf, but was able to gain some sight and senses back as she grew older. Bethannie helped her mum out with a lot of physio and speech therapy at home, as well as providing emotional support and helping to run the household.
Shortly after Bethannie graduated from Honeypot, her mum was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, ME and chronic fatigue syndrome. "I missed out on quality time with my family, and then I needed to make sure my mum was okay," she explains.
Bethannie had holidays every now and again with her grandparents, but never went away with her mum and sister. Mum was on benefits, so money was tight. There was some financial support in terms of school and free trips, but it meant that for some trips that everyone else went on, Bethannie couldn’t go.
"At the end of year six everyone goes to the Isle of Wight for a week, that was a big thing. But I wasn’t able to go even though all my friends went. I had to look after my sister. It was stuff like that that kind of upset me." Bethannie
Coming on a break with Honeypot was really the first time that Bethannie went away, other than staying at her grandparents. “It was a big thing for me to spend time away from my mum. I remember how I thoroughly enjoyed it because they made a big fuss of you and we did really cool things that you wouldn’t normally do," she says.
Bethannie found a comforting structure at Honeypot that she wasn't used to at home, and especially remembers the Honeypot staff making hot chocolate with cream as a special treat.
"Looking back, the hardest thing I had to face was the amount of effort I put into helping others. I wasn’t able to give that back to myself which is still a bit of an issue for me today. When you are in your teen years and finding yourself... well, I didn’t do that at all. I am just about doing it now, where I am away from home and in an environment that I can control myself." Bethannie
When coming to Honeypot, it was always with her young carer group, so the children already knew each other and came from similar backgrounds, which helped everyone to relax and enjoy themselves. Most of the children came from low-income families that relied on benefits - something that Bethannie feels strongly about.
“You have nowhere to escape if you have no money and no means, as there is nothing you can do. There is no way to distract yourself because you can’t even afford to buy new toys. I think young carers develop a hard skin, so nobody notices things so much. It’s because you’ve had that same experience over and over, and you sort of numb yourself to it.” Bethannie
Bethannie now aspires to have a career that will make an impact on others and is hoping to become a university history lecturer. We often find that many Honeypot children go on to have careers that help others achieve their full potential, just as they experienced themselves at Honeypot.
